Whenever I say you can love your spouse and not like them, people go, “Ah ah, how is that possible?”
As if love and liking are twins that must always hold hands.
They’re not.
Love is commitment; liking is enjoyment.
You can be committed to someone and still not enjoy their presence anymore.
You can love someone deeply and still dread coming home to them.
Men who don’t like their wives anymore always change at home first, not outside, with friends, or at work.
Men Who Don’t Like Their Wives Anymore Always Do These 5 Things At Home
1. He spends as little time at home as possible
When you like someone, you want to be around them.
It’s not rocket science.
It’s why we spend time with our friends.
We already know there’ll be laughter, gist, inside jokes, silly arguments, even small gossip we’ll later deny 🫣.
You don’t have to force yourself or need reminders and motivation.
You just go.
So when a man starts spending as little time at home as possible, it’s not always because he’s busy.
Sometimes, it’s because home no longer feels enjoyable.
That’s why he suddenly has overtime every day, lingers in the car scrolling on his phone instead of coming inside, and stretches errands that should take 20 minutes into two hours.
He now prefers to sleep early or stay up late, anything that reduces interaction.
People don’t avoid places they enjoy.
Even if work was stressful or life is lifing, home is relief.
When a man truly enjoys his wife, he finds reasons to be home.
When he doesn’t, he finds reasons not to.
2. He physically recoils when you touch him
Touch is honest.
You can fake a smile or a conversation.
But your body tells the truth.
When a man doesn’t like his wife anymore, his body pulls away from hers.
No spontaneous or romantic touches like kissing, hugging,
3. He stops asking about your day (and doesn’t share his)
You know you can deeply care about someone and still not enjoy hearing about their day.
But you cannot like someone and not be interested in their life, no matter how boring.
That’s the difference.
When a man likes his wife, he’s curious about her, even in ordinary ways.
“How was work?”
“What happened with that thing you mentioned?”
“Did you eat?”
“Why do you sound tired?”
It’s not interrogation, it’s interest because when a man likes his wife, talking to her is easy and natural, like unwinding.
But when he stops liking her, the curiosity dries up.
He doesn’t ask about your day, and he doesn’t tell you about his, either.
You’re still married and living together, but the friendship inside the marriage is what’s dying here.
Friendship is what makes marriage fun, not just commitment.
You can be committed yet lack intimacy and friendship, and marriages like that are as boring as….*trying to think of what to compare it to..’*
Hmmmmm…..
Yeah, boring as drinking plain water. 😏
4. He creates reasons to be in different rooms
You know your husband doesn’t like being around you when he’s home, but he’s never where you are.
ALWAYS.
If you’re in the kitchen, he’s in the garage.
If you’re watching TV in the living room, he suddenly has work to do upstairs.
If you go to bed, he stays up.
If you’re upstairs, he remembers something he needs to handle in the basement.
You think it’s random?
Nah.
It’s very deliberate.
He’s managing his proximity to you, making sure you’re never together even though you’re in the same house.
5. He lights up for everyone except you
How do you react when you see someone you really like?
Your face changes, your energy shifts, in fact, you smile without thinking about it.
It’s involuntary.
That’s what liking someone does; it shows up in your body language before you even realize it.
So, when a man still does this for everyone else but not for you?
That tells you everything.
A friend calls, and suddenly his whole face lights up.
His voice is animated and he’s laughing.
At gatherings, he’s the life of the party.
But the second it’s just the two of you, his face goes flat and his energy drops.
He’s back to being distant and cold.
Apparently, he’s still capable of warmth; he’s just not capable of it with you.
Or more honestly, he’s not willing.
Because the question isn’t “Can he be excited with me?”
The question is, “Why isn’t he choosing to be that way with me?”
And the answer is simple and brutal: because he doesn’t like you anymore!
He’s decided other people are worth the effort and energy, and you’re not.
And that hurts more than anything.
So, what do you do?
That’s the question, isn’t it?
You’ve read this whole list.
You’ve recognized the signs and know in your gut that your husband doesn’t like you anymore.
And now you’re sitting with that knowledge, wondering what the hell you’re supposed to do with it.
Do you confront him?
Do you wait it out?
Do you try harder?
Do you leave?
Here’s what I’ll tell you: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
But there are some truths you need to sit with before you make any decision.
First, you need to accept that you can’t make someone like you again.
You can work on a marriage, go to therapy, improve communication, address specific issues, but you can’t force someone to enjoy your presence.
Liking someone is not a choice in the same way love is.
So if you’re thinking, “Maybe if I just do this differently,” or “Maybe if I change that,” stop.
This isn’t about you being enough. This is about him no longer seeing you as someone he enjoys.
And that’s not something you can fix by yourself.
Second, you need to have the conversation.
Not the “are we okay?” conversation where he says “yeah, we’re fine” and you both go back to pretending.
The real one.
“I feel like you don’t like me anymore. I see how you are with everyone else versus how you are with me. And I need to know if I’m imagining this or if this is real.”
It’s going to be uncomfortable.
He might get defensive or deny it.
He might turn it around on you.
But you need to say it out loud.
His response will tell you everything you need to know.
If he’s willing to talk about it and work on it, that’s something.
If he makes you feel crazy for noticing, that’s also something.
Third, you need to decide what you’re willing to live with.
Let’s say he admits it. Or let’s say he doesn’t, but you know it’s true.
What then?
Can you stay in a marriage where you’re loved but not liked?
Where you’re committed to but not enjoyed?
Some women can.
They decide the commitment is enough, and they make peace with it.
Other women can’t.
They need more than obligation.
They need to be wanted, not just kept.
Neither answer is wrong, but you have to be honest with yourself about which one you are.
Because staying in a marriage where you’re tolerated, not celebrated, will change you.
It’ll make you bitter and small.
You’ll start believing you’re not likable and that this is what you deserve.
And that’s a dangerous place to live.
Fourth, you need to stop blaming yourself.
I know you’ve been running through everything in your head.
What did I do wrong?
How did I lose him?
Maybe you’re tired all the time, or you nag too much.
Maybe you’re not fun anymore.
Stop.
Yes, relationships are two-way streets, and we all contribute to the dynamic.
But his choice to stop liking you is still his choice.
He could communicate and work on the relationship.
Instead, he’s just checked out, and that’s on him.
You’re not responsible for forcing a grown man to like his own wife.